Letter to Joe, my teacher and mentor

I sent this letter on October 30, 2007 to my friends Joe and Jo Welch, friends in Seattle who do not use email. I had sent a similar version to my email friends and family.

Dear Joe and Jo,

I have had some news that has brought me up short. I have prostate cancer. The Gleason number is 3+3=6, so it is classified as early and less aggressive (1+1=2 is the best; 5+5=10 is the worst; to have the same numbers on either side of the plus sign is also a good sign). At this time I am researching the various therapies--it turns out that the decision on which therapy to choose does not have to be made quickly. Whatever I decide will not happen until January at the earliest. Probably I will do surgery.

I had suspected it for a while. A routine blood test turned up a high PSA and over the next weeks I had a biopsy which confirmed the presence of the cancer. There is a funny, well sort of funny, story on how I came to have that test. After we returned from Australia in July we just couldn't bring ourselves to drive for three days out to British Columbia to hike, so we cancelled that trip. As a result of that cancellation we decided to attend the wedding of my brother’s grandson in August. At that wedding, basically showing off as I taught a great niece how to do the Lindy, I tore the cartilage in my knee. Before I could have surgery (which went very well; Mary and i walked several miles over the weekend) I had to have a physical and at that physical my GP said that as long as he had to do some tests, we may as well do the PSA. I am sure I would not have had that test for months otherwise. So it goes.

We are fine. We will get through this. Our families have been very supportive. And a bit of other news. Our granddaughter Zoe is growing rapidly; she dances, worries about being cute, can write her name, and can count. She is a wonderful little human unit. Mary has worked hard on her children's writing, taking a master's course at a literary center in Minneapolis. She has also edited her grandfather's 1903-06 letters from Harvard. I am teaching technical writing and introduction to technical communication and working hard on my other job as Director of the Teaching and Learning Center.

You know, I am surprised to find that I am not afraid. All my life I thought I would be if the grim reaper hovered near. But I have discovered a kind of calm, that I am reluctant to say moves me up to the league you have always played in. From you I learned to love the mountains and I learned love in, maybe even from, the mountains. Tonight at dusk as I drove up from teaching my late class, just at sunset, a grouse exploded, as they do, out in front of me, and I thought about the angels that the trees have sent you, and knew that I had one too. Joe, you are so important to me. I hope to be out in Seattle this summer and we can sit and laugh and laugh.

Love,
Dan