Sunday, January 18, 2009
Dan's Innards
Hi, in every session the therapists take a picture of my pelvic area. Most times that picture is an xray though about every 5th time, it is a ct scan. The results of the xray are that they can see the pelvic bones, front and side. The results of the ct scan are that they can look "through"me. One therapist described the process as creating slices of bread down my body and then looking through them at one end.
The purpose of this part of the process is to align me. In each instance they compare today's picture with the benchmark picture that they took on day one, when they set the tattos. By slightly adjusting the table that I rest on, they can align me today exactly as I was aligned on that first day. As a result the beams of radiation hit the exact spots that the doctor wants irradiated. The two gold markers that were inserted some time ago are used for the alignment, and are, apparently, essential to creating the duplicate position.
In the pictures below you can see parts of the process and both kinds of pictures (xray and ct) used in the process. In the first picture notice the red laser beams crossing on my right pelvic area. The horizontal one is at 9.4 (9.4 what I am not sure, but that number is said outloud every session). The vertical one guarantees that I am at the same lengthwise position. With my body basically in place, the therapists use the pictures to align me left to right. And they use the pictures to make minor adjustments based on the location of my bladder that day.
The second picture is the xray. Due to a camera failure (my fault) we only have this one photo. Mary had taken some others that showed the relation of the benchmark and the daily xrays but they did not come out. The third picture is the ct scan, which as you can see is completely different. While I can guess-read the xray, I am not sure what to make of the ct scan. I would guess that either they can superimpose one image over the other or they have a grid that compares locations and gives the coordinates for repositioning me. I would say that most times, but not all times, I am repositioned.
The purpose of this part of the process is to align me. In each instance they compare today's picture with the benchmark picture that they took on day one, when they set the tattos. By slightly adjusting the table that I rest on, they can align me today exactly as I was aligned on that first day. As a result the beams of radiation hit the exact spots that the doctor wants irradiated. The two gold markers that were inserted some time ago are used for the alignment, and are, apparently, essential to creating the duplicate position.
In the pictures below you can see parts of the process and both kinds of pictures (xray and ct) used in the process. In the first picture notice the red laser beams crossing on my right pelvic area. The horizontal one is at 9.4 (9.4 what I am not sure, but that number is said outloud every session). The vertical one guarantees that I am at the same lengthwise position. With my body basically in place, the therapists use the pictures to align me left to right. And they use the pictures to make minor adjustments based on the location of my bladder that day.
The second picture is the xray. Due to a camera failure (my fault) we only have this one photo. Mary had taken some others that showed the relation of the benchmark and the daily xrays but they did not come out. The third picture is the ct scan, which as you can see is completely different. While I can guess-read the xray, I am not sure what to make of the ct scan. I would guess that either they can superimpose one image over the other or they have a grid that compares locations and gives the coordinates for repositioning me. I would say that most times, but not all times, I am repositioned.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Half way through.
Today I was radiated for the 22nd time. At most I have 18 to go. So how is it going? Well so far I have not experienced any radical side effects. I am a bit tired. Going to bed at 9:30 now seems like a good idea--and I usually fall asleep within two minutes. I am constantly asked about diarrhea-don't have it. On the other hand I have had the pleasant experience of a hemorrhoid. I love the first moment you realize you YA-HOO have one. It turns out that some of the radiation passing through me uses that part of me to exit. Such fun. But I use Tuck's Anusol and have been living with it. I also stopped stationary biking.
What else? Let's talk about bladders. The deal is that I am supposed to lie down on the table with my bladder full. A full bladder raises itself up away from the prostate bed area and thus the radiation radiates the bed not the bladder. Well, the issue is to get the bladder full at the right moment. Too late and I get zapped. Too soon and I wish I had worn Depends. Here is the amazing thing. My body has learned how to do this. In the first three weeks I several times showed up too full too soon and ended up trying to 'top off' my bladder, that is, reduce the volume inside it without losing everything. Difficult. You try it. Let off some of a full bladder and then lie there for 20 minutes.
But here is what happened. I set up a routine. I eat breakfast at 6:15 because I can't eat within three hours of radiation which starts at 9:30. I drink a cup of coffee then too. OK, at 8 we leave. Just before we go, I pee. Then we head down 94 for the 65 minute ride. At about 8:30 I start sipping water (I have to get down 16 ounces). At about 9 we pull into the Minnesota rest area and I hop out and use the facility. Then I get back in, drive to MOHPA all the while sipping. I sit there comfortably in the waiting room. Lie on the table feeling like Let's move this process right along, and when it is over, hit the men's room for a, as they say camping, copious and clear event. The amazing thing, to me, is that when I started this, I was often uncomfortable as I got to the rest stop and often not quite full at the treatment. I changed nothing. Now everything works as I want it to. My body trained itself. I mentioned this to the therapist and she seemed to think that this happened to others. Well, if the body can train itself to pee, it can train itself to defeat cancer, so I have begun to order that.
To change the subject, the ride over is surprisingly interesting. I drive over, Mary drives back. Instead of being bored, I notice things I never saw before, and I have driven it hundreds of times. Also I find it easy to 'zone' just merge with the landscape or else review an issue like how should I handle something at work, or should I retire.
I have taken all the Fridays of January off, using the FEMLA provisions that all workers have. Last Friday we visited Jane in her classrooms. What a gas. I would love to get into ESL teaching. What a fabulous group of kids, and what a great set of learning problems and opportunities. For instance, how do you get kids to get comfortable with the little words that go before and after a concept--from My brother critic my driving to My brother is a critic of my driving and then to open up that there are lots of other ways to get at this My brother criticizes my driving. I think that it must be like learning how to get to a site from your house in a big city. You learn one way and not until you have some confidence will you find the other ways.
That's it for now. I have to write about mortality and religion yet. Nothing quite like realizing one day that the thing talking to you is saying Hi I am your mortality and I might shove off. You ready? And for religion I have been really impressed by Merton's sacramental idea in Seven Story Mountain and Robinson's ground of being in Honest to God. And then I started Confessions of St. Augustine. The first several chapters are amazing. Nothing has changed in and for adolescents for the last 2000 years if he is typical. But more on that later.
One last thing. We took up snowshoeing on Wilson Creek. Love it. We have been down there a number of times now. It is quiet. There are lots of animal tracks. I get a sense of the lay of the land in our area. The rock cliffs and outcroppings are impressive. And it is good exercise and that clears out some of the radiation cloud that inevitably forms.
This experience focuses me. It is not unlike other focusing events I have had in my life, though none of them had the mortality sidebar.
What else? Let's talk about bladders. The deal is that I am supposed to lie down on the table with my bladder full. A full bladder raises itself up away from the prostate bed area and thus the radiation radiates the bed not the bladder. Well, the issue is to get the bladder full at the right moment. Too late and I get zapped. Too soon and I wish I had worn Depends. Here is the amazing thing. My body has learned how to do this. In the first three weeks I several times showed up too full too soon and ended up trying to 'top off' my bladder, that is, reduce the volume inside it without losing everything. Difficult. You try it. Let off some of a full bladder and then lie there for 20 minutes.
But here is what happened. I set up a routine. I eat breakfast at 6:15 because I can't eat within three hours of radiation which starts at 9:30. I drink a cup of coffee then too. OK, at 8 we leave. Just before we go, I pee. Then we head down 94 for the 65 minute ride. At about 8:30 I start sipping water (I have to get down 16 ounces). At about 9 we pull into the Minnesota rest area and I hop out and use the facility. Then I get back in, drive to MOHPA all the while sipping. I sit there comfortably in the waiting room. Lie on the table feeling like Let's move this process right along, and when it is over, hit the men's room for a, as they say camping, copious and clear event. The amazing thing, to me, is that when I started this, I was often uncomfortable as I got to the rest stop and often not quite full at the treatment. I changed nothing. Now everything works as I want it to. My body trained itself. I mentioned this to the therapist and she seemed to think that this happened to others. Well, if the body can train itself to pee, it can train itself to defeat cancer, so I have begun to order that.
To change the subject, the ride over is surprisingly interesting. I drive over, Mary drives back. Instead of being bored, I notice things I never saw before, and I have driven it hundreds of times. Also I find it easy to 'zone' just merge with the landscape or else review an issue like how should I handle something at work, or should I retire.
I have taken all the Fridays of January off, using the FEMLA provisions that all workers have. Last Friday we visited Jane in her classrooms. What a gas. I would love to get into ESL teaching. What a fabulous group of kids, and what a great set of learning problems and opportunities. For instance, how do you get kids to get comfortable with the little words that go before and after a concept--from My brother critic my driving to My brother is a critic of my driving and then to open up that there are lots of other ways to get at this My brother criticizes my driving. I think that it must be like learning how to get to a site from your house in a big city. You learn one way and not until you have some confidence will you find the other ways.
That's it for now. I have to write about mortality and religion yet. Nothing quite like realizing one day that the thing talking to you is saying Hi I am your mortality and I might shove off. You ready? And for religion I have been really impressed by Merton's sacramental idea in Seven Story Mountain and Robinson's ground of being in Honest to God. And then I started Confessions of St. Augustine. The first several chapters are amazing. Nothing has changed in and for adolescents for the last 2000 years if he is typical. But more on that later.
One last thing. We took up snowshoeing on Wilson Creek. Love it. We have been down there a number of times now. It is quiet. There are lots of animal tracks. I get a sense of the lay of the land in our area. The rock cliffs and outcroppings are impressive. And it is good exercise and that clears out some of the radiation cloud that inevitably forms.
This experience focuses me. It is not unlike other focusing events I have had in my life, though none of them had the mortality sidebar.
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